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Ebbs & Flows

October 8, 2017 by dspurgers Leave a Comment

As I spend Saturday morning/early afternoon on my couch at the house, I’m reviewing this past week and looking ahead to this next week, overwhelmed with emotion. This last week was challenging, and this next week looks to be similar. In the middle of it, there’s plenty of warmth and happiness, but also some struggle.

It’s often said that the life of an entrepreneur is a roller coaster. This rings especially true this week. In the middle the best season I’ve had in business recently, there are still constant struggles that pop up. Nothing major, but the dark blip on the radar drains so much energy and distracts from all the light around it. Even as an optimist, it’s a hard battle for me to see the weight of the good and focus on that, instead of being pulled down by what still remains to be solved.

I am a problem solver. As the owner and leader, it’s my job to set everyone else up to succeed. I tell prospective team members in interviews that I am not here to do all of the work, but instead to set them up for success and then fix the problems they can’t, or break down the walls they can’t. Some weeks, this is harder than others and more draining. This week was one of those weeks.

Outside of work and just in life, this last week I was met with the first real hatefulness and adversity I’d seen since our wedding. From someone who I value and respect, a petty back-handed response was painful. It took conscious effort for me to realize “this isn’t my issue; this is someone else’s.”

The biggest revelation of my year came from my therapist (not the one I’m married to!): Every problem can’t be fixed to your satisfaction. I strive to be a clear-communicator, and to always be honest. I work hard at relationships every day and strive for peace and understanding. This idea that I can’t fix everything to my liking has been a particularly hard one for me to accept. Admitting that I can’t fix a problem feels like defeat. It feels like saying “I wasn’t able to solve this, so I’m giving up.” Giving up is not something I do well – even when I should. Kevin wisely pointed out that I was striving for peace, but peace takes effort on both sides. The relationships that expect you to put forth all of the effort to bend to their convenience are 1) not peaceful relationships and 2) probably aren’t valuable relationships in your life. While 100% agreement isn’t necessary for a peaceful relationship, mutual respect, understanding, and a value for the other person sets the stage for disagreement, but leaves room for love and unity, paving the way for peace.

As I sit here reflecting on this week, looking forward to the next, and processing thoughts and feelings by writing a blog post, I am so thankful for rich relationships. I’m thankful for great friends. I’m thankful for a loving God whose grace extends far beyond where it ends in my head. But I’m also tired. Not weary or spent, just tired and needing rest. I’m thankful for a season of life that’s ushering in peace, and a new-found fervor in pursuit of my relationship with God and who I am in His image. I’m expectant for great things to come.

Encouraging the Encouragers & Adventures in Slight Depression

December 18, 2013 by dspurgers 1 Comment

A couple of months ago, I found myself the lowest I’ve ever been. I hadn’t been able to say for sure why that is. I can make guesses, but just can’t nail it down.

My whole life, I’ve been the encourager. I think some people see encouragers as “rock solid.” Maybe that’s true… but if it is, it’s only a portion of the time. I would say I’m solid about 95% of the time. The other 5% is really rough. I find myself down and helpless – it almost felt at times like someone would walk by, look at me down, say “oh, I see you down there!” and then just keep walking. I guess it’s because people don’t know how to encourage the encourager. If they perceive themselves as a person less secure or happy, they just may not know how to help.

Usually, I can be talked through anything. Give me a cup of coffee and an hour with a good friend and we can change the world – or at least my perspective. This season wasn’t like that at all. I felt disconnected form my friends, from God, and from my life. I just wanted to be me again.

I’ve read Allie Brosh’s blog “Hyperbole and Half” for a couple of years now. She is hilarious. She also struggles with actual depression (which I don’t claim to). You can read her posts Adventures in Depression and Depression Part Two here. I have a close friend who has struggled with depression his whole life, and before reading these posts felt like I just couldn’t understand it. I remember sitting at my desk reading these posts and just crying feeling so sorry for those who suffer from depression.

Now that I feel I’ve dug out of my (shallow) hole, I have some observations from this process:

Everyone needs to be encouraged. Don’t assume someone is rock solid – nobody hates to be praised. The smallest comment can make a huge difference in someone’s day.
Don’t try to fix something you didn’t break. If you notice a friend is down – don’t try to fix them. Just be there and be supportive. This has been one of my greatest mistakes in trying to console people around me who are struggling.
Extroverts can become introverts… temporarily. Recently, the only thing that’s consistently given me energy is spending time alone. Reading, studying, working, writing, watching TV… I’ve just needed “me” time. As an extreme extrovert, this was really confusing for me and most of my friends.
Cling to the healthy relationships that help. I’ve had some great friends over the years – and a few close friends that have stayed beside me. Through this process I felt I disconnected from most everyone – but had a close friend who knew that I was down. He knew I didn’t need to sit and talk for hours. That I just needed to exist and feel like I wasn’t alone. That relationship is what got me through this in one (partially sane) piece.
Exercise. Running, aerobics, whatever – DO SOMETHING to get your body moving and work out some of the junk that you’re feeling. Cleaning up the diet doesn’t hurt either! Garbage in, garbage out. (I failed at this one… so much dessert… so much cookie dough).
Be okay with being broken. Beating myself up for being low just made me feel worse. At some point, I just had to accept that I wasn’t okay and wasn’t going to be for a while. Waiting it out was the only option, and hating myself for it didn’t help.

On the other side of this – I have so much more respect for people that battle depression. I feel the illusion that I am a strong person is bunk – the people that fight depression day in and day out and continue functioning are really strong. From this, I’m ready to be the best supportive friend I can be.

Wedding of the Century – and a lot of fun!

August 13, 2012 by dspurgers Leave a Comment

This weekend, I got to be a part of the celebration of the wedding of my cousin & friend Alyssa Taylor to a great guy – Aaron Wildschuetz. I’ve known Alyssa since 5th grade and we’ve been great friends! The wedding was seriously one of the most fun weddings I’ve been a part of (I feel like we partied all weekend), and the perfect way to celebrate the start of their life together.

A brief update in pictures….

Reunited with one of my all-time best friends! Love her.

I got to spend a lot of time with the person I’m going to marry… Her name is Kayde. She rocks.

Sara & Caitlin cooling down before the ceremony

The cake was awesome… Great job, pattiCakes Bakery!

Aaron’s Groom’s cake – pretty sweet (literally)! Again, great job pattiCakes Bakery!

I got to see Tesa! And we finally scheduled a time for her to come see Mom & Dad’s new house!

And I got to dance with Kayla!! And we saw each other outside of the bakery! It was weird and awesome!

Me, Katelin, & Will at the reception. Will was here for the wedding and was AWESOME!

Will had a lot of fun with the glow sticks. He was a dancin’ fool.

Hope everyone had as much fun this weekend as I did – happy Monday (almost)!

Chocolate Kitties

January 26, 2012 by dspurgers Leave a Comment

I have no idea why I called this post chocolate kitties. Those are two things I’m going to mention… but the cats themselves aren’t chocolate.

Many of you know I’m not really a cat person… I’m allergic and just much more suited to dogs. However, for the past few months, Richard and I have been helping the Humane Society of Faulkner County with taking care of the huge amount of cats rescued from a hoarding situation. I have good news: we started with well over 100 cats, and now we are down to less than 10! The cats that are left are not very social and will make awesome barn cats for someone. Other than that, the cats have all gone to different adoption agencies across the state and most have families now!

There is one cat that we fell in love with… affectionately named “sneezy kitty” due to how sick she’s been. Well, she came to live with us temporarily last week. She is such a sweet cat, but wreaking havoc on my allergies.

Sneezy Kitty

All the same – we are fostering to get her back up to speed and ready to be a sweet, loving cat in someone’s home forever! We’ve been supporting by volunteering… I wanted to let you all know of a great way to support that’s coming up.

This year, we’re hosting Chocoholics 19th Annual Dream Day Out. The event will take place Saturday, February 11, from 1-4 at First United Methodist Church in Conway. Tickets are $12 in advance, $20 at the door, and $5 for kids. You can come enjoy a fun afternoon of all-you-can eat chocolate! Many businesses in town (including pattiCakes Bakery, Starbucks, and Stromboli’s) will be donating chocolate that you can enjoy at the event. There will also be a silent auction and a number of adoptable pets!

Please join us for the event… you can purchase tickets online here. This is our largest fundraiser of the year and allows us to provide homes and medical care to many animals. If you’re not able to make it, you can purchase tickets online and write DONATION in the notes.

Hope to see you all there!

Drew

Pets Need Help – Tuesdays with Kitties

November 2, 2011 by dspurgers Leave a Comment

So, Richard and I have been volunteering the past few weeks at the Faulkner County Humane Society (HSFC). For those of you that didn’t read about the couple in Vilonia who were hoarding cats, it’s a pretty sad story. Basically, an older couple had some cats and they multiplied… quickly… until there were over 100 living inside their trailer, and possible more outside. Unfortunately, the story gets sadder. The elderly woman passed away due to an injury, and her husband is now in a nursing home. The cats have become the responsibility of HSFC. If you have a cat or two, you can imagine what it’s like to have 50+ living in a trailer.
*update – 11-3-11: Just heard the older gentleman is now living in an apartment and doing well.

The main room where most of the cats are located

Taking care of the cats is no small feat. There is a team of 10 or so volunteers who take care of them, in addition to the medical staff of Companion Spay & Neuter clinic. Mind you, the clinic has taken all of this on in addition to their normal caseload.
Once a week, we head out to Springhill (between Conway and Greenbrier) and spend an hour or two having a “poopie party” that entails scooping litter, replacing it, feeding, medicating, and giving fresh water to all the cats… we may or may not spend a lot of time petting and cuddling. Especially in the kitty room.

Look at the adorable kittens!

Richard and some of his favorites... They like him a lot too!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keJO1JnNGZM]

Some of these cats have obviously had hard lives, and any time you have this many animals together without proper medical care (which they’re now receiving thanks to the staff at Companion) disease and sickness is bound to happen. Sadly, there’s a “sneezy kitty” room where the sick cats live. Below is one of our favorites – I’m thinking we should name him Weezy. He has the sweetest personality and loves attention. We’re hoping he gets better soon – he may have a new home at our house!

This cat is one of the sickly ones... but has the best personality!

It takes us a couple of hours, but once we’re done, the world is a better place. The trailer smells much better. The cats are much happier. We feel like we’ve done something to make a difference, and it’s because we have. Since we’ve started taking care of the cats, many of them have been spayed & neutered, then subsequently adopted out. How awesome is that!? These cats are finding loving “furever homes” (sorry – I have a soft spot for pets…) that they never would have had if people weren’t investing some time and love into them.

I don’t say any of this to brag on myself – we actually didn’t come up with this – my dear friend Jennifer let me go with her once, and Richard and I felt like we had to help. The thing is, there’s plenty of room for more help. Currently, there are 3 or 4 shifts open of times for the cats be taken care of. The vet clinic is trying to keep up as best they can, but they need the help.
We need your help.
If a few people could step up and give up a couple hours out of their week, it could mean finding homes for these cats that much sooner.

There are other needs as well… you can imagine how much food and litter 50 cats go through… and how many toys! Any donations are appreciated. If you’re unable to help with time, please consider donating litter or food. If you can’t go get it, you can PayPal me the money and I’ll take care of it for you. In addition, all of these cats will eventually need homes. If you can provide a loving home for them, it’d be much appreciated (and Christmas is right around the corner! What kid doesn’t want a cat!?).

If you’re able to help in any way, please comment below or email me at dspurgers[at]gmail.com. I will get you in touch with the right people. If you can help in any way, please do! There are a lot of sweet kitties who would really appreciate it!

The cutest kitten out of the bunch... look at that! Just LOOK at that!

My Morning – A comedy of errors with my vehicle, UCA PD, the DFA & tax assessor

June 21, 2011 by dspurgers Leave a Comment

OK, so let me tell you about my morning… I am usually on top of anything scheduled. I put it in the calendar a year in advance and set reminders to make sure I take care of it in time. In the midst of buying my house this year, somehow I missed my auto registration renewal. I didn’t realize this until yesterday when Kim Williams pointed it out… My tags are now four months out of date. Oops.

So I get up this morning and am out the door on the way to the revenue office at 7:00am to get this crap over with before the work day starts. I’m peacefully driving down College, enjoying the hot sticky morning air, and what happens? Blue lights. I made it FOUR MONTHS and get pulled over on the way to the revenue office. I pull over. The cop comes to the car – she was very nice. “Sweetie, did you know your tags are expired?”
“No ma’am, not until yesterday. I moved and never got the notification, but I still should have caught it. I’m on my way to the revenue office right now to fix it.”
“Oh, I believe you! That’s no problem – I’m a nice cop. I just need to see your license, registration, and proof of insurance.”
“Alright, no problem.” Having already prepped them to try to get the revenue office before the masses in spite of the traffic stop, I had them to her immediately.
“You know your insurance is expired, too, right?”
“Uh… no it’s not. I just paid it.”
“This one expired 06/01/11.”
“Well, I can look it up on my phone and show you…”
“Alright, that’s fine! I’m just going to go run this stuff real quick and make sure I don’t need to arrest you.”
…wait, what? Arrest me?
She comes back, hands me a warning and tells me to have a nice day. Then it’s off to the morgue. Wait, revenue office.
I get there and luckily there are only 3 people in line. We are all staring at the employees as nobody is being helped – they are talking about remodel plans for their break room. It’s the small things in life… After listening to the debate of serene green, light lime, and other ridiculous green colors, I clear my throat. They all snap back to their blissful reality and start helping us.
It turns out my vehicle wasn’t assessed this year. Seriously. It just keeps going. So I sit down and wait until 8:00am, when I can call the tax assessor’s office and have them fax it over. They do so, I pay my $17.50 and tons of heartache to get this all done… and it’s off to the office.

How was your morning?

Faith Like Job

April 6, 2011 by dspurgers Leave a Comment

I have a friend who is going through some tough times right now. Part of their struggle is what we all struggle with: faith. No matter how much we love God and how close we get to Him, we can never have “the right amount” of faith. We simply can’t rely on Him enough. In talking to him about faith, keeping the faith, and forgiveness, I suggested reading Job. For those of you that aren’t super familiar with scripture and specifically with Job, it’s not exactly light reading. It starts off just fine – telling the story of Job and how blessed he is. He is the richest and happiest man in the area, and he lives a life that’s pleasing to God. One day Satan is talking to God about Job. God defends Job and says:

“Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil.”
-Job 1:8

Satan’s response to this is that Job’s life is easy – God has blessed him. Why wouldn’t he be upright and faithful with such a cushy life? God then gives Satan permission to test Job – to hit him with hard times and trials so his faith can be proven. First, he takes everything Job has – his livestock, his servants, his children… everything, but doesn’t hurt Job. Job’s response to this is amazing:

“Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. He said,

‘I came naked from my mother’s womb,
and I will be naked when I leave.
The Lord gave me what I had,
and the Lord has taken it away.
Praise the name of the Lord!

In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.”
-Job 1:20-22

I’m floored by this. Knowing myself and my faith, I would have broken. I would be furious with God. Job’s response is to praise God. Now, it goes on and gets worse – Job’s health is taken from him. He is covered from head to toe in boils and miserable all the time – not eating, not drinking, and wanting death. Job’s friends come to support him and be with him – then over half the book is Job and his friends sitting around naked grieving, talking, and complaining.

Job never renounces God.

Long story short, after everyone sits around and complains for a long time, God shows up and lets Job know what’s going on. He reminds him that He (God) is in control and fashioned everything in the world – Job had nothing to do with it. After a few chapters of God reminding Job that he had nothing to do with this, God demands that he answers some questions. Here’s his response:

“Then Job replied to the Lord:

‘I know that you can do anything,

and no one can stop you.

You asked, “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?”

It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about,
things far too wonderful for me.

You said, “Listen and I will speak!

I have some questions for you,
and you must answer them.”

I had only heard about you before,
but now I have seen you with my own eyes.

I take back everything I said,

and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.'”
-Job 42:1-6

Watch how the story ends:

“When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before! Then all his brothers, sisters, and former friends came and feasted with him in his home. And they consoled him and comforted him because of all the trials the Lord had brought against him. And each of them brought him a gift of moneyt and a gold ring.
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. For now he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 teams of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He also gave Job seven more sons and three more daughters.”

“Job lived 140 years after that, living to see four generations of his children and grandchildren. 17 Then he died, an old man who had lived a long, full life.”
-Job 42:10-13, 16-17

There is so much to learn with this it’s hard to pick where to start. What I choose to take from this is that I want a faith like Job. When everything falls down around him and everyone is telling him to just give up (his wife tells him to just curse God and die so it’s all over with), even though he messes up and forgets the character of God and who He is, he doesn’t renounce his faith. In fact, when it comes to head, he apologizes, admits he was wrong, and asks for forgiveness. Then God comes back and blesses him even more than He did originally (thanks, Allyson for pointing this out).

From this, I choose to try to model my faith after Job. I pray I never experience anything this catastrophic, but if I do, I pray that I’ll keep my faith and remember who God is to me. My prayer from this “God, please help me to have faith like Job. Even when things aren’t easy, please keep my reliance on You. You are infinitely more powerful and loving that I can even comprehend, and reliance on you is the only way I can make it through anything in life. Help me to believe more in You.”

Prayer, Support, and “Faith”

March 25, 2011 by dspurgers Leave a Comment

This week 2 friends of mine died. Jacob and Keith Mulberry were friends from church. We’ve known them for quite some time, and I can honestly say I don’t have a single unhappy or negative memory about either of them. This was very much so unexpected – they were in a tragic car accident Tuesday night. Jacob died at the scence; Keith made it through the night but unfortunately was completely brain dead.

This is obviously a very sad, tragic story. I feel more and more like it’s just time for Jesus to come back. The world and our lives just seem wrought with so much sadness, pain, death, and tragedy. It just seems like we can’t possibly take any more suffering before Christ mercifully returns.

That being said, I am in no way “the best Christian,” or even a good one. I do know what I believe and why I believe it, and I try to live my life in a way that would glorify God. However, there is one particular thing about tragedy that has always bothered me, and it’s the way we “Christians” view prayer. I was first bothered by this when I realized I was doing it. I was studying one night in the midst of a death in the family and came across what is now my favorite verse:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
-2 Corinthians 12:9

This is my favorite verse for a number of reasons. The number one reason is that I’m comfortable in my skin. I’m confident and don’t worry too much about not being able to handle situations. This verse helps me remember that I must be relient on Christ. If His power is made perfect through anything, that is what I need to do.

Here’s what bothers me – numerous times through this accident and others, I’ve seen or heard people ask
“What can I do? Do you need anything?”
the response: “Just pray.”
“Well, I guess all we can do is pray.”
“There’s nothing left to do but pray…”

This drives me absolutely insane. Christ’s power is made perfect in our weakness. When I am not enough, when my “strength” or confidence isn’t enough, Christ is more than enough. His power is all I need. So for this reason, the very first thing we must do is pray. Why would I trust my abilities over Christ’s? Why would I try to handle it myself first, then choose to lean on Him? Is He not infinitely more capable than I? Our reliance on Christ must be our first instinct, so engrained that no other thing comes first. We should live every moment and breath with Him, seeking guidance, confirmation, etc.

After this, my next thought: is our faith really that weak? Do we not believe in the power of prayer above all else? It seems sad that we don’t believe in the power of our Creator to be able to walk us through these times. We have to trust and believe above all else that He is capable of carrying us through them. This should be easy and a comfort – time and time again in scripture we see Jesus scold his disciples for a lack of faith. While Jesus isn’t walking among us in the flesh today, there are plenty of examples in scripture and in life that prove that faith is rewarded.

Check this out:

“The disciples went and woke him, saying, ‘Master, Master, we’re going to drown!’
He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. ‘Where is your faith?’ he asked his disciples.”
-Luke 8:24-25

This being said, I’m going to make it a point to make sure my first response in these circumstances is to lean on Christ – the person who is MOST capable of handling it. That’s also the greatest gift or help I can give to anyone in trying times.