Drew Spurgers

Marketing guru, entrepreneur, pet lover, radio-sing-along-er, coffee drinker

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Walk in Love – A Journey into The Episcopal Church

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Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen.

-Collect for Purity

This past Sunday, Kevin and I were confirmed as members of The Episcopal Church (TEC).

Kev and I with our Deacons, Peggy and Linda
(read below for more about Deacons in the Episcopal church) These ladies are a huge portion of why the church means so much to us, and why we feel so at home.

This has been a happy, easy journey for us, starting last May. For some details on that, check out this post:

Now that we’ve been attending for about 16 months, and gotten deeply involved, I have some thoughts I’d love to share on what we love about The Episcopal Church. Prior to visiting, we knew essentially nothing about the church. The more we’ve gotten to know, the more we’ve fallen in love. Here are some of our favorite things about TEC, that may also serve as an FAQ/Did You Know for those interested:

  • Does the Episcopal Church teach scripture? Does it believe in Jesus? 
    Resoundingly, YES! When we first met with clergy from our church, these were some of the first questions I asked. Since I knew the church was a bit more liberal than I was accustomed to, I was concerned about relativism or a compromising stance on the truth. I’ve found the exact opposite.
    The Episcopal Church (and the greater Anglican communion) operates off of a calendar called the Lectionary. Basically, it’s a calendar of suggested readings throughout the year, following the seasons of the church year. Each week, there are 4 readings in our services: one Old Testament, one from Psalms or Proverbs, one New Testament, and one Epistle (a reading from one of the 4 Gospels). The sermon then comes from one of these readings (usually the gospel reading).
    A beauty that I found in this is that it is not pastorally or topically driven at all. Meaning that a person can’t decide “this is what people need to hear, in the Name of God” and then go preach it. Clergy is responsible for studying and praying over the week’s readings and speaking from one of these.
    Additionally, there is so much power in scripture being read aloud. That’s right — each of these readings is read aloud in service.
    My concern of “not enough of the Bible” was quickly turned upside down with “you’ll read more scripture than you have in your entire life.”
  • Are Episcopalians Christians?
    Yes.
  • What do Episcopalians believe?
    In short, Episcopalian beliefs are not too different from Protestant Christianity (and likely don’t differ from your beliefs at all). Our beliefs are summed up in the catechism of the Episcopal church. You can find that here.
  • Why is everything so formal?
    In short, it’s just tradition. BUT, there is a reason for everything. Literally, we haven’t yet found a single thing that there isn’t a long, thought-out reason for.
  • Why do you love it?
    (this one will take me a while!)
  • One of the core beliefs of the Episcopal Church, affirmed in the Baptismal Covenant, is to respect the dignity of every human being:
    Celebrant: Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?
    People: I will, with God’s help.
    This means a lot to me because, in short, I’ve been around plenty of churches and Christians that don’t respect the dignity of every human being. The idea of “we love you, but don’t want you here” or “we don’t believe God is at work in your life” is really hard for me – and frankly, I think people just get it wrong. Scripture makes it pretty clear that Christ and His love are acceptable to all of us. Even those that are a different color, nationality, gender, whatever — just because someone is different from you doesn’t mean they are magically exempted from access to the love of God, or salvation.
    You know, when I write that my first thought is “well, duh,” but I have personally had multiple encounters where someone’s actions told me the exact opposite. That hasn’t been the case with the EC.The very real demonstration for us has been the unquestioned acceptance of the LGBT+ community. The church globally is missing the mark by pushing people away. The unquestioned welcoming of all – without giving it a second thought – is so refreshing. And so Christ-like.
  • I love the diversity.
    Kev and I know we want to raise our (eventual) family in church. We also know that we want our children exposed to diversity, of all types. This doesn’t just mean orientation. I’m actually specifically referring to diversity in age in our congregation. The Sunday School class we attend most Sundays ranges from early 20’s to early 90’s. This is totally different from my previous experience of people all my age in my same stage of life. The beauty in this is that our discussions are rich in opinion and wisdom. At different stages in life, we bring totally different perspectives to the table, and we’re all able to learn from each other.
  • I love the Eucharist.
    The Eucharist (fancy word for Communion) is kind of the core of the service. It happens in almost every service, every week. Originally, I was worried that taking Communion weekly would dilute the value for me and it would start to lose its meaning. The opposite has been true. I look forward to that time and find that Christ speaks to me differently each week during that time. Additionally, the Eucharistic prayers are absolutely gorgeous and put my mind in the right frame to remember Christ’s sacrifice for us.
  • I love the high standard for clergy.
    The process to become a Deacon or Priest in the Episcopal church is years long — and not everyone is a shoe-in. Those interested in being ordained enter a years-long discernment process. Some make it through, some do not. If they do, they then proceed to seminary and complete this before ordination.
    Get this — Deacons are volunteers. Non-paid. But still go through this process and through seminary, often on their own dime, to serve for free. Wow.
  • There’s beauty in liturgy.
    Liturgy is the “service script” we follow each week. Lots of it repeats from week to week, including the Nicene Creed, one of the affirmations of our faith. There’s beauty in repetition. Someone once described it to me as “our words become our thoughts. Our thoughts become the mediations of our heart. These meditations become our actions, which then become our lifestyle.”
  • I love the focus on unity.
    Unity in the church, locally and globally. Unity in the world.
    Each week, we pray for the unity of the church. We pray for congregations elsewhere in the world. We pray for people who don’t believe like us (yup, God loves them, too).
    A beautiful example of this I’ve seen is demonstrated in the Eucharist. Prior to taking Communion, there’s an area of the service called “The Peace.” To an Evangelical defect like myself, it would seem like a meet & greet. What it originally was intended for was for people to find anyone in the room they may have conflict or tension with and share God’s peace with each other and resolve it, before going to the table to take Communion together. How beautiful is that!?
    Ready to pass some eye-water? 
    After serving at the altar, those serving the Eucharist then go out into the congregation and take Communion to those who aren’t able to stand up or come to the alter easily.
    If that didn’t get you, this will:
    After Communion, there’s a “sending out sacrament.” At this time, the church prays over consecrated Communion elements, and members of the congregation called Eucharistic Visitors take them out, and often leave immediately and go straight to the homes of those who are home-bound or unable to be at church. The idea in this is that we are sharing in Communion together at the same time.
    “Who we are many are one body, because we share one bread, one cup.”
  • Everyone is welcome at the table.
    Have you ever been a visitor at a church where you weren’t allowed to take Communion? It’s painfully awkward, and it never sat quite right with me–didn’t seem to me that Jesus would turn someone away. Our Priest says each week before Communion “Wherever you are on your journey of faith, you are welcome at this table.” Another Priest in Arkansas once explained “This isn’t our church’s table. This isn’t the Episcopal church’s table, and it certainly isn’t my table. It is Christ’s table, and you are always welcome at it.”
    Welcoming and showing the love of Christ in the simplest of ways…
  • We’ve found a family.
    Actually, we inadvertently found two, ha. We have two small groups that meet in homes every other week. These people have become our rocks and support system. Our lives are made richer because of them, and we are more thankful that I could ever put into words for their love and influence in our lives.

    Some of our small group family from St. Peter’s, including our new Priest, The Rev. Greg Warren.

  • They accepted us, as we were. 
    This one is probably the most expected answer. Our church search began when we needed a place to grow in Christ together. Not only were we accepted at St. Peter’s, but we were loved. From the beginning. People were excited we were there, and they still are. And now we’re happy to welcome others with open arms, sharing the same love shown to us.
  • They push us to be better.
    By focusing on Christ’s love and the way He lived His life, we are encouraged to be better. To love better. To be that light in the world.

Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself for us, and offering and sacrifice to God.

If you’re interested in visiting the Episcopal Church, feel free to comment or send me a message. I assure you the church would love to have you. If you are local, you can sit with Kevin and I any time. 🙂

Our confirmation class. Over 20 new members!

What’s My Name?

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I’m sharing this post because we have discussed this at length with lots of our friends. It’s been interesting to hear everyone’s thoughts and perspectives on what we should and shouldn’t do, what’s normal, what everyone will perceive this to mean… at the end of the day, the goal is the explain why we chose to do what we did and why it matters.

Leading up to our wedding, Kevin and I said that names weren’t important to us. It wasn’t a big deal to us to have the same last name, and we didn’t know which route we’d go to share one. We knew that we wanted to share a last name before kids entered the picture, but also knew that we were at least a couple of years out from that.

After we got married, a switch flipped immediately. Honestly, we expected to receive much more backlash from people in Central Arkansas than we did. Those who disapprove were (mostly) silent, lessening the pain we expected to feel. When we realized that life wasn’t going to be as difficult as we expected. We also realized how thrilled we were to officially be married and have a public, life-long commitment. Thus, our last names suddenly became much more important to us.

Why was it important? That’s a loaded question. First, the reality of it is that we are surrounded by people that don’t see our relationship as legitimate. Whether it be for religious reasons, cultural norms, or other reasons, they see our relationship as “less than” that of a heterosexual couple. Yup, that hurts. It’s evident to us often – most evident when I introduce Kevin as my husband and then someone refers to him after that as my “friend.” I always politely say “no, husband. Yes we are friends, but we are also legally married. He’s my husband.” Sharing a last name adjusts that public perception just a little more to make people realize that we are in fact, legally, actually married. Shockingly, sometimes people go a step further and say “like gay married, or actually married?” If that doesn’t shine a bright light on ugly perception – I’m not sure what will.

The next parts of the decision centered around family – and first, around own future family. We know that we want children. We know that we want our kids to have the best, easiest lives possible, and that it may be more difficult because some will view our family as less-than or sub-par. We know that our kids may have some battles to fight or perceptions to overcome. This was one step we could take to make it easier. To be clear, we didn’t think this was 100% necessary – but we knew it was 100% something we wanted to do.

In a lot of ways, as gay Christians, we felt like one of the best things we could do for the community was to normalize our relationship. Here’s the truth: we are normal. We go to work every day. We come home and choose between cooking the Hello Fresh in the fridge or being too tired and just ordering takeout. We stay up later than we should on the couch binge watching Netflix or talking to friends, then wake up the next morning and repeat. The fact that we feel the need to normalize our relationship speaks to a skewed perspective that we want to do the best we can to correct. The gay couple next door to you is probably not promiscuous or in the club every weekend – they’re probably just another couple wanting to be who they are and share life with people they love.

Now, knowing we wanted to share a last name, we came to the hard part – what name do we take? Some friends have chosen a hybrid name (Example, last names of Smith and Williamson becoming Smithson). We didn’t have that option — there’s nothing sexy about Phergers or Sphelps. We also knew that we wanted to fight for each other in this (more on this in a second). The most important thing to me about the name-change was that Kevin felt 100% comfortable and equal in it. Because Kevin is an introvert and I’m an extrovert, people often think that someone “wears the pants” in the relationship. We both do – literally and figuratively (no dresses to be found). In every chance I get, I remind people that Kevin is my 100% equal partner. We’re in this together, and at this point I can’t imagine life without him.

So, in fighting for each other, what do I mean?
You know how when you’re having a discussion/argument with your significant other, you make the case for your point of view, then enforce it, and are basically arguing your point? Yeah, we did the opposite. We argued each other’s points, defending each other about ourselves. In my opinion, this speaks of 1) the love we share and 2) our true equal partnership.

So, flash forward to figuring out options.:

  • Kevin didn’t have a strong attachment to Phelps or feel the need to carry it on.
  • While I don’t have any issue with my last name, I didn’t feel married (pun intended) to it. We knew my brother would carry it on.
  • We didn’t want to hyphenate, because that seemed difficult and more “new-agey” than we are.
  • For the sake of business, it made sense for me to keep Spurgers (the name of the legal entity is Spurgers Consulting).
  • We had another difficult emotional hurdle to cross here: was Kevin willing to take on the name of my family, when they are not fully supportive of our relationship? (A huge lesson for all of us in the last few years has been navigating life together when we don’t all agree. We thank the Lord for grace that has made this easier for all of us.)

At the end of the day, we decided that it made the most sense for us to keep Spurgers. This meant conversations with both families about why this was happening, as a “heads up.” But, it was still important to me that we made it clear that we were equal partners – so while Kevin picked up Spurgers as a last name, he kept Phelps as a middle name – and I did the same. So we functionally use Spurgers as our last names, but both share Phelps (as a middle name) and Spurgers (as a last name) and will be able to pass on both to our children.

 

We’re fortunate to both have great families and a great support system. We’ve loved the opportunities for meaningful discussion that this has presented. At the end of the day, if we can help people understand others better, or save someone else pain or heartache, then it’s all worth it.

As always, I’d love to discuss this with anyone who has thoughts or questions – feel free to comment or send me a message with questions!

2017 in Review

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2017 has been a year of change, but one that I am exceedingly thankful for. Some heartache, but a lot of hope and healing. I’m walking in to 2018 excited and ready to make it the best year yet!

Here’s reviewing 2017, with a #LifeLesson or two thrown in.

Look familiar? Hint – we come back here later!

In January, Kevin and I took our second trip to Seattle to teach a class and speak at a show for our friend Brook. We were able to take a week of vacation and spend time experiencing Seattle, solidifying our love for the PNW. We also made our first visit to Snoqualmie Falls!

March was a great month! Kangabloo was able to work on a great project for the Conway Area Chamber of Commerce with our friends at Eric, Rob, & Isaac. The photo on the left is from their annual meeting, where this project was unveiled. We are really excited (and out of focus!) in this photo because Kevin also passed his oral exams and became a licensed counselor this same day!

The next week, we left for our third annual cruise with some of our close friends. The week was a great time of rest & relaxation!

 

In April, my brother married his perfect match – who also may be Kevin’s soul-twin. We adore Leslie and her family, and were so thrilled to celebrate them!

Later the same weekend, we had the “Make Your Mark” event for Stoby’s. This was the first big event for one of my largest projects of the year – and so much fun!

May was kind of a big deal. 😉

When we talk about 2017 being a year of change, our wedding is one of the primary reasons it was. Getting married meant a lot of things changing for us, especially in relationships. While there were many hard conversations leading up to our wedding, there was much more happiness and joy surrounding it. You can read my post about our wedding here.

#LifeLesson Number 1: There are times in life when people reveal who they really are, for better and for worse. There were people who were excitingly loving and supported who we never would have expected. There were people we expected to hear from who were silent. There were people we expected love from who chose a different path – which brings me to lesson 2.

#LifeLesson Number 2: You are loved far more than you know. 30 people flying from all over the country to share our day was easily the highlight of my life.

The month of June is a black hole in reviewing the year. I took 3 classes in June (30% of my masters in a month) and there are literally NO photos on my phone from June.

#LifeLesson Number 3: Three summer classes at a time will consume a month of your life! 

July was a great, normal month, settling in to our new normal. This month did bring our first trip to Minneapolis, though!

#LifeLesson Number 4: Puglets are the cutest.

August was a nice finish to a race and a great working-vacation. Stoby’s re-opened with a great event supporting HAVEN House, and we left the next day for a Tanning Salon Owners cruise with some of our closest industry friends.

#LifeLesson Number 5: A project completed that you can sit inside and take in may be the most professionally rewarding thing in the world.

In September, my dad and I made a trip to Austin, TX to drop of relief supplies after Hurricane Harvey. On the way to TX, multiple people honked and offered waving support, while others stopped at gas stations and restaurants and either gave us more things to donate or money to contribute to the cause. It was incredibly heart-warming to see how, even in the midst of tragedy, people can come together to support others in need — even those they don’t know.

I don’t have photos from our trip to the Texas State Fair, but Kevin and I started a new tradition this year – attending the Texas State Fair with his mom. We had so much fun! We also ordered our hot tub… but more on that later. 🙂

#LifeLesson Number 6: doing what you can to help others (even something small) is just as rewarding for you as it is for them.

October was busy with school and mostly uneventful, but we made a barely 48 hour trip to New York to see Dear Evan Hansen. If you get a chance – go!

#LifeLesson Number 7: You Will Be Found.

In November, we finished the pergola for our #SideYardParadise in preparation for our hot tub! We also enjoyed Thanksgiving with my family, and told my parents about my MBA. You can watch the surprise video here:

#LifeLesson Number 8: Building it yourself is sometimes more fun.

#LifeLesson Number 9: Sometimes 16 month-long surprises are worth every single moment and penny!

December was a great wrap-up for our best year yet. We had a great retreat for Kangabloo, I graduated with my MBA, we finished our #SideyardParadise, and spent lots of time relaxing together, and with friends and family.

#LifeLesson Number 10: There is no better life than the one spent with your true love, dear friends & family! 

After a year of change, I am so thankful for the personal and spiritual growth we’ve had this year. We can’t wait to see what 2018 brings us! Our goals are intentionally focusing on gratitude and peace, spending more time at home cooking, reading, and relaxing!

Ebbs & Flows

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As I spend Saturday morning/early afternoon on my couch at the house, I’m reviewing this past week and looking ahead to this next week, overwhelmed with emotion. This last week was challenging, and this next week looks to be similar. In the middle of it, there’s plenty of warmth and happiness, but also some struggle.

It’s often said that the life of an entrepreneur is a roller coaster. This rings especially true this week. In the middle the best season I’ve had in business recently, there are still constant struggles that pop up. Nothing major, but the dark blip on the radar drains so much energy and distracts from all the light around it. Even as an optimist, it’s a hard battle for me to see the weight of the good and focus on that, instead of being pulled down by what still remains to be solved.

I am a problem solver. As the owner and leader, it’s my job to set everyone else up to succeed. I tell prospective team members in interviews that I am not here to do all of the work, but instead to set them up for success and then fix the problems they can’t, or break down the walls they can’t. Some weeks, this is harder than others and more draining. This week was one of those weeks.

Outside of work and just in life, this last week I was met with the first real hatefulness and adversity I’d seen since our wedding. From someone who I value and respect, a petty back-handed response was painful. It took conscious effort for me to realize “this isn’t my issue; this is someone else’s.”

The biggest revelation of my year came from my therapist (not the one I’m married to!): Every problem can’t be fixed to your satisfaction. I strive to be a clear-communicator, and to always be honest. I work hard at relationships every day and strive for peace and understanding. This idea that I can’t fix everything to my liking has been a particularly hard one for me to accept. Admitting that I can’t fix a problem feels like defeat. It feels like saying “I wasn’t able to solve this, so I’m giving up.” Giving up is not something I do well – even when I should. Kevin wisely pointed out that I was striving for peace, but peace takes effort on both sides. The relationships that expect you to put forth all of the effort to bend to their convenience are 1) not peaceful relationships and 2) probably aren’t valuable relationships in your life. While 100% agreement isn’t necessary for a peaceful relationship, mutual respect, understanding, and a value for the other person sets the stage for disagreement, but leaves room for love and unity, paving the way for peace.

As I sit here reflecting on this week, looking forward to the next, and processing thoughts and feelings by writing a blog post, I am so thankful for rich relationships. I’m thankful for great friends. I’m thankful for a loving God whose grace extends far beyond where it ends in my head. But I’m also tired. Not weary or spent, just tired and needing rest. I’m thankful for a season of life that’s ushering in peace, and a new-found fervor in pursuit of my relationship with God and who I am in His image. I’m expectant for great things to come.

 

<3

Thankful – 30 People

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Everyone is doing the “thirty days of thankfulness” thing. I didn’t jump on board because I didn’t want to just follow the trend. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m thankful for. I have a ton to be thankful for – a great family, amazing job, a phenomenal church I absolutely love, perfect friends… and the more I think about all of this, the more I realize that most of what I’m thankful for is people. I feel like if I lost everything I had right now, my life could still be great because of the people in it.

So here goes a list of people I’m thankful for. It isn’t exhaustive. It’s not in any particular order. This is simply the first 30 people that come to mind. Please don’t think if you’re not on the list that I’m not thankful for you – I honestly could go on for years about the amazing people in my life. These 30 are mostly ones I deal with daily or very often, and I’m blessed to do so.

1. This goes to two people – my parents. No, they’re not perfect. For the most part, they try really hard. I’m very thankful for good parents who I have a good relationship with. So many of my friends are jealous of our relationship, and I definitely understand why.

2. Katelin. She understands me better than most and always cares. Always. And she brought Will into this world. And he’s the best.

3. Jennifer – She just lost her grandfather and is going through a tough time there. We have been close for years – she’s the only person I can not talk to for 2 months and pick up the phone right where we left off. She may be the funniest person I know. Love her.

4. Steven (Thteven) – my baby brother. Tho many people don’t have good relationthips with their thiblingth… Ok, I’ll stop. So many people don’t have good relationships with their siblings. Steve and I have always gotten along well and have been hanging out more recently. I really like that. He’s a cool kid.

5. Kelly… she’s great for Steven and so sweet! She is one of the most kind-hearted people I know and I’m glad she’s a part of our family.

6. Sara – even though we haven’t been close for long, we are definitely kindred spirits. I really enjoy all the time we spend together – even though we work entirely too much.

7. J Parker – I am so glad J & Allison are at NLC. I am the happiest and most fulfilled I’ve ever been in church, and a good portion of it is because of J’s friendship and leadership. He’s great even though he forgot our anniversary. 🙁

8. Judi – so many people work tirelessly to make the Humane Society “tick.” Judi puts in countless hours and has a heart for animals that few can match – and she’s willing to do the hard work. Tons of respect for her.

9. Bobby & Angela – I am so blessed to work with good people. Love my job.

10. Cassandra – oh my gosh. Cassandra is #1 on the list. I can leave on vacation knowing that she’ll hold the fort down. She’s efficient. She’s awesome. Wouldn’t trade her for anything.

11. Brad Goodnight – he is seriously one of the most encouraging people I know.

12. Patti Stobaugh – I am very lucky to have many clients that are also friends. Patti is on the top of this list – rather I need advice, a place to vent, or sugary goodness, she’s there. 🙂

13. Ally Brasko – I am so proud of Ally, and can’t wait to continue watching her grow. When I started at NLC, I immediately started praying for people like Ally – and she’s been everything I’d hoped for. I’ll probably never stop pushing her.

14. Don & Christine Riley – they have really become family, as well as my home-remodel gurus. Even if they never helped with another project again, they’d still be some of my favorite people in the world.

15. Lauren Erion – I’ve said it 1,000 times, but Lauren rocks. She’s my accountant and saves me a ton of money – but even more than that, she’s become a trusted friend and advisor. SO glad to have found her!

16. Dusty & Hannah Reeves – even though we don’t get to spend a lot of time together, the Reeves are some of my favorite people. I love their heart for God & His people.

17. Rick & Michelle Bezet – enough said… The vision of NLC is so clearly evident in everything they do. Legacy achieved.

18. Neil & Gina Greathouse – thanks for setting the stage for our creative team to succeed. We do because of the investment you make.

19. Izzy – I know she’s not a person – but only just barely. The unconditional love that comes from a companion animal is something everyone should have. To always be the highlight of someone’s day… it’s the most uplifting thing ever.

20. Brandon Shatswell – again. Encouraging. FIERCELY talented. And a great guy.

21. Debbie Floyd – our new volunteer coordinator at HSFC. She’s doing a bang-up job with something I’m very passionate about. She’s executing better than I could myself, and we’re going to be much stronger because of it.

22. Richard – one of my closest friends over the past few years and a great roommate (most of the time ;-)). I still dont want to share a bathroom. Never will.

23. Sam – he has pretty hair. He’ll always be my car shopping buddy and someone I always have a good time with.

24. Tesa – even though we don’t see each other often anymore, we always have each other. One of the people I know will always pray for me. It means the world.

25. Col – even though we haven’t met in person, Col has listened to me rant and dreamt of travel with me many times. My “friend across the pond.” 🙂

26. Cotton Rohrscheib – we don’t see each other super often these days, but do a lot for each other’s businesses and always have a blast. Cotton, Donna, & Spencer are like family. I wish we had more time together!

27. Phil Wickham – even though we may not be personal friends, he writes my heart better than I could myself.

28.  BarCamp Conway Team – not that these guys don’t each deserve their own space, but we have a lot of fun together, and I feel like we get a lot done. They rock.

29. Nathan Pruzaniec– I don’t think any of us can talk Nathan up enough. He’s a magician and a workhorse. Talented and selfless. I wish I was more like him!

30. Finally, Rachel Halford. I miss Rachel. We don’t hang out enough. She’s still a great friend and someone I wish I saw more. 🙂

Again, this isn’t an exhaustive list, or in order of importance. I just have so much to be thankful for… and I’m blessed to know each of you. Thanks for being a part of my life!

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” 
-C.G. Jung

“I suppose that since most of our hurts come through relationships so will our healing, and I know that grace
rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside.”
-Paul Young, “The Shack” 

Faith Like Job

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I have a friend who is going through some tough times right now. Part of their struggle is what we all struggle with: faith. No matter how much we love God and how close we get to Him, we can never have “the right amount” of faith. We simply can’t rely on Him enough. In talking to him about faith, keeping the faith, and forgiveness, I suggested reading Job. For those of you that aren’t super familiar with scripture and specifically with Job, it’s not exactly light reading. It starts off just fine – telling the story of Job and how blessed he is. He is the richest and happiest man in the area, and he lives a life that’s pleasing to God. One day Satan is talking to God about Job. God defends Job and says:

“Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil.”
-Job 1:8

Satan’s response to this is that Job’s life is easy – God has blessed him. Why wouldn’t he be upright and faithful with such a cushy life? God then gives Satan permission to test Job – to hit him with hard times and trials so his faith can be proven. First, he takes everything Job has – his livestock, his servants, his children… everything, but doesn’t hurt Job. Job’s response to this is amazing:

“Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. He said,

‘I came naked from my mother’s womb,
and I will be naked when I leave.
The Lord gave me what I had,
and the Lord has taken it away.
Praise the name of the Lord!

In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.”
-Job 1:20-22

I’m floored by this. Knowing myself and my faith, I would have broken. I would be furious with God. Job’s response is to praise God. Now, it goes on and gets worse – Job’s health is taken from him. He is covered from head to toe in boils and miserable all the time – not eating, not drinking, and wanting death. Job’s friends come to support him and be with him – then over half the book is Job and his friends sitting around naked grieving, talking, and complaining.

Job never renounces God.

Long story short, after everyone sits around and complains for a long time, God shows up and lets Job know what’s going on. He reminds him that He (God) is in control and fashioned everything in the world – Job had nothing to do with it. After  a few chapters of God reminding Job that he had nothing to do with this, God demands that he answers some questions. Here’s his response:

“Then Job replied to the Lord:

‘I know that you can do anything,

and no one can stop you.

You asked, “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?”

It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about,
things far too wonderful for me.

You said, “Listen and I will speak!

I have some questions for you,
and you must answer them.”

I had only heard about you before,
but now I have seen you with my own eyes.

I take back everything I said,

and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.'”
-Job 42:1-6

Watch how the story ends:

“When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before! Then all his brothers, sisters, and former friends came and feasted with him in his home. And they consoled him and comforted him because of all the trials the Lord had brought against him. And each of them brought him a gift of moneyt and a gold ring.
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. For now he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 teams of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He also gave Job seven more sons and three more daughters.”

“Job lived 140 years after that, living to see four generations of his children and grandchildren. 17 Then he died, an old man who had lived a long, full life.”
-Job 42:10-13, 16-17

There is so much to learn with this it’s hard to pick where to start. What I choose to take from this is that I want a faith like Job. When everything falls down around him and everyone is telling him to just give up (his wife tells him to just curse God and die so it’s all over with), even though he messes up and forgets the character of God and who He is, he doesn’t renounce his faith. In fact, when it comes to head, he apologizes, admits he was wrong, and asks for forgiveness. Then God comes back and blesses him even more than He did originally (thanks, Allyson for pointing this out).

From this, I choose to try to model my faith after Job. I pray I never experience anything this catastrophic, but if I do, I pray that I’ll keep my faith and remember who God is to me. My prayer from this “God, please help me to have faith like Job. Even when things aren’t easy, please keep my reliance on You. You are infinitely more powerful and loving that I can even comprehend, and reliance on you is the only way I can make it through anything in life. Help me to believe more in You.”